Movin On Up! Or Over, Whatever.

Hey all you awesome, loyal, cool people who've been visiting this blog. If you want to keep up with what's going on inside Dawn's brain, then you'll need to go on over to her new home at http://grendelsmom.com. It's the same blog but on wordpress. (It's also at http://dawncrowe.wordpress.com/.)

Sorry for all the confusion. It's just that I want the chance to play with statistics and all that other fun technical stuff they have over there. Thanks for reading.

Love and Peace!

Dawn

Whut?

If you haven’t yet visited the FAIL blog, then shame on you. Not only is it hilarious, it’s a wonderful example of the need for all of us to think about how we communicate. Every time I go into the local Shoppers Food Warehouse I get a laugh. And not just because they have an awesome ad for their donuts. (These donuts eat other donuts for breakfast.) I also laugh in the check-out line where I see an instruction fail on their credit card machine.


This is a good example of the need to have editors look over your work before launching a product. Strict attention to detail can be a pain to some—especially in our fast-food, texting, road rage society—but I think it’s about time to break out the pencils and teach our kids how to use them.

I’m going to have myself a little rebellion—you may even say tantrum—against laziness. I realize that languages evolve, new words get introduced, and with some technology there is a need for brevity (Twitter anyone?). But trying to decipher some of the e-mails I get or the notes on my Facebook wall from people who really aren’t paying attention is just plain annoying.

Okay, tantrum over. But seriously folks, I know that even I don’t catch everything in my own posts but please, before sending your message, click on the little icon, you know the one with the ABC check mark. It won’t catch everything, but it could help your reader’s eyes a bit. And if you’re a marketer or communications professional, or just someone selling content, you most definitely should be checking your work. The fastest way to lose credibility and loyalty is to show you’re lazy or don’t care.

I know all you texters out there are calling me a dinosaur. Don’t care—it’s my blog. If you have something to say about it, then please make a comment. And try to spell out your words if you can remember how.

Zero to 70 in two weeks.

I have to give a shout out to Grendel’s Grandpa, my Dad, on his 70th birthday. Way to go Daddyoh. Dad says, “I’m celebrating the 31st anniversary of my 39th birthday.” Hey Dad, I’m behind you 100%. After all, you had my back when I celebrated the third anniversary of my 29th birthday. That’s just the way we do things in the Crowe family. We also give our dogs and kids weird names—okay I shouldn’t say the kids’ names are weird—unique is a better word. But naming the second family Labrador Klinger after the first Klinger died did make for some great fodder for jokes among my friends.

Moving on to the zero part of the headline. Did you know that in the U.S. a new person is born approximately every eight seconds? I’d like to give another shout out to a very brand new person—someone recently arrived to the planet—Colin Tuttle. Son of my dear friends, Bob and Emily. Colin was supposed to arrive next month but instead arrived two weeks ago. So either the doctor can’t count, baby bubba was impatient to start the ride, or Mrs. T has some splainin to do. Either way, we are very happy he’s here and everyone is healthy. And Colin just happens to be an excellent Irish name.

If this blog was really popular, now would be a great time for me to earn some money by sponsoring a diaper ad because young or old, we never really finish dealing with the toils of bodily fluids. But instead, here’s a link to diapers.com and for you out-of-work people, they’re looking to hire an Infrastructure Engineer. (I don’t know why that sounds funny, it just does.)

And just for fun, I clicked on those links in the first paragraph and here’s what came up for me.

• I am 21,300,095 minutes old (and just wasted a butt load of them writing this blog).
• Someone named Y.A. Tittle shares my birthday (close to Tuttle, but no cigar).
• In dog years, Grendel and I are pretty much the same age

Evidently I have these good and bad characteristics.

• Very little ever escapes my observation (hence the title of this blog).
• I neither show nor understand emotions very well (what a crock—that makes me mad—not true)!

What does your birthday and name say about you? I’d like to know, really, because I do care and can show you, really. Happy Birthday Dad and all you April babies out there!

D’OH! And other statements of wisdom.

I came across some of the Bart Simpson chalkboard quotes and decided to analyze some of them and see how relevant they could be to my day-to-day life. So here we go.

I will finish what I sta
Coming up with blog entries each week is challenging. I also want to be a professional photographer, write a novel, lose 80 pounds, fix my ceiling, etc., etc., etc. I’m usually pretty good at finishing things, with some exceptions, but I think it’s a good lesson for all of us.

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
I can’t say I agree with Bart’s teacher on this one. Sometimes it’s good to take little steps toward a goal or even to remember and celebrate what’s good in your life. Obviously taking it too far—like celebrating the loss of 8 oz. of weight with an ice cream cone may be a bit much. Balance people, balance.

"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice.
I think in this economy, to each his own. Everyone needs to make a living right? In any case, I did some background checking, and I’m pretty sure Bart was referring to a person designated to collect money in a protection racket. There are several other definitions though, including a traveling salesman (hmmm, same thing?), a company out in the Midwest that sells farm equipment, and Tiger Woods' caddie, Steve Williams. This last guy’s job doesn’t sound so bad. Evidently he’s such a good guy that Queen Elizabeth II made him a member of the New Zealand Order of Merit. Bart’s teacher should be a bit more careful about busting on people’s choice of work.

I am not deliciously saucy.
Yes, I am. Everyone is special. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not.

I will not aim for the head.
Unless you’re Jack Sanderson playing dodgeball against the Sioux campers at Camp Tockwogh.

Nobody likes sunburn slappers.
I must agree. Good advice as we go into the summer and you’re all pale from the long winter.

Hope these were good lessons for you. Thank you Bart—you boy genius, you philosopher and observer of life.

If it’s not Scottish, it's crrrraapp!

Oiy! Being a wee bit of Scot meself, I wholeheartedly agree with the line delivered by Mike Myers on SNL. Scots are amazing people. Many of you may have heard of the recent sensation sweeping Britain and the U.S. Her name is Susan Boyle and she belted out one amazing tune from Les Miserables on Britains Got Talent 2009. The reason everyone cares is because this 47-year-old church volunteer from West Lothian (that's in Scotland folks) was prematurely judged based on her looks. People were laughing at her. But then they heard her voice and were touched by her gift.

There are Susan Boyles out there everywhere and the moral of this story, boys and girls, is don’t judge people based on their looks. Gotcha. Point taken. But this is not what I’m here to talk about. What I really want to talk about are the great Scottish people. My Brit friend in grad school correctly stated that a Scot could read the telephone book and still sound lovely. Oooh yeah, my thoughts exactly. On that note, I’d like to share a little story from my adventure in Scotland so you too can know just how awesome these people are.

One day during an early summer trip in 2000, my Mom and I were doing laundry on the Isle of Skye at the laundry mat / mini-mart / gas station which was located conveniently next to one of the two pubs on the island. There was a cold spell there and while all my long pants were being washed, we went into the pub. One of the three patrons in this little pub—not including the Collie who went straight for the side of the bar to get fed and was obviously a regular there—staggered over to us and as nice as can be started up a friendly conversation that went like so.

Drunken Scotsman: So…where are yuh all flrrum?
Dawn: We’re from the United States.
Drunken Scotsman: Aye, yuh flrrum Amerrricuh. Yuh wearrrin shorts an it’s fooockhen flrrreeezen out.

We proceeded to discuss all sorts of things such as Jerry Springer (the show that happened to be on the big screen TV on one of the three channels available on the island) and how he was the owner of the other pub in town and it was his day off. Gosh I love the Scots. And don’t get me started on Mel in that kilt. So to close, if you ever hear anyone refer to Scots as Scotch, just repeat the words of Mike Myers.

“Actually, scotch is a drink; Scots are a people. But we're both great-tasting!”

Death by flying mattress.

Don't forget to laugh today—and keep those aspirations high.

A ten year old flipped me the bird.

In my last post I mentioned that I really like kids. I’ve changed my mind. There are two in my neighborhood that are now on the naughty list. The circumstances surrounding the bird flipping aren’t important. What concerned me was the total lack of respect and manners both tots displayed. As much as I’d like to blame their parents, I won’t. On that note, I’d like to suggest to everyone that we seriously start thinking about how our actions affect those around us.

During the last several months the media has pounded us with stories of corruption and greed—your basic doom and gloom. It’s pretty depressing. And being unemployed, I need positive influences in my life, not negative party poopers. (Poop is such a funny word. Not as funny as poopy though. But I digress…) Since I’ve been laid off, I’ve noticed a wave of generosity, solidarity, and kindheartedness from total strangers (as well as my loving peeps—thanks everyone). This kindness is just what I’ve needed. So I’d like to give a shout out to some of these organizations and movements. You go people! And next time some ten year old flips you the bird, show them kindness in return.

JobAngels, a community of strangers dedicated to helping others find jobs.

Helpothers.org, a portal dedicated to small acts of kindness.

Do you have more examples? Share them!

I’m still going to grow even if I skip my next birthday.

The headline of today’s post came from the brilliant musings of my six, soon to be seven year old nephew. I told him that I wanted him to stay little and not have his next birthday. He didn’t think that was a good idea—I think he’s looking forward to the next Wii game he’ll get from his aunt Dawn. Well unemployed aunt Dawn is going to be wrapping up something that she has laying around her house.

I love kids. They crack me up. They see life in such simple terms. It’s so refreshing to hear kids simplify things that we tend to complicate. It’s also fun to watch them observe and comment. Today is Easter. To those of us who have put our faith in Jesus, the truth and the way is black and white. It’s simple, it’s lovely, it’s a gift beyond anything else we need. It’s everything. I hope all God’s children (you’re included in that group) will come to know Him and love Him.

The Easter egg hunt today was fun. The time spent with my brother and his wife and their kids was wonderful. Like I said, I love kids—other people’s kids. I like them because they don’t live in my house. So Happy Easter and go ahead and sneak a bite of chocolate bunny or some peeps out of your kid’s basket.

If you’re reading this then I applaud me.

Yes, me. Why? Because out of the millions of blogs out there, I’m actually getting traffic from someone other than myself and occasionally my Mom when my Dad lets her use the computer. It’s my first blog post. So how’s it going so far with you?

Let’s talk for a moment about unemployment. If you have a job, chances are you may feel some sympathy for the poor schmucks out of work and maybe are a teeny bit scared for yourself, but in reality, you have a life, a routine, and your own problems. Correct? If you’re like me, it’s the elephant in the room. So I’m on day 13. I’ve been pounding the Internet pavement, networking, and cleaning my house. I’m now onto the phase of bringing out the artist in me. I do a lot of writing in my line of work, so I figured I’d keep my fingers in shape and start a blog. Not for you, you lone reader, but pour moi!

When I do manage to get dressed and get out of my house, I’ll be writing about my observations. Because I’m in an “it’s all about me” sort of phase, I’ll write about what interests me. And what interests me is sometimes the unusual and sometimes the plain and obvious—and often the humorous. It could be about people in my neighborhood, about road rage (living in Northern Virginia you can bet that will be on the list), about how my cats sleep, how grass grows, new marketing trends (to keep up on my career of course), or maybe just about what life is like being unemployed. And that’s a perfect segue to link to another great blog. For anyone who is unemployed and wants a huge daily dose of humor. Check it out at http://stuffunemployedpeoplelike.com/.

It’s now 4:59 p.m. If I was getting paid for this I’d say, TGIF. But since I’m not, I’ll just say, it’s now time to get back to the marathon viewing of Battlestar Galactica.